NOTE: I changed the date of this post to the 20th, from the 23rd bc it's such a downer compared with the rest of the posts, but I wanted it up there. I'll put it in its proper place once I have some more posts.
Poor husband had basically no sleep last night, as it was his night with Eddie and it turns out my husband wasn’t feeling well. I was too busy catching zzz’s to notice the later. I told him that was how I felt the night before he came home last week. So there we were at 5AM, listening to Eddie howl. Every so often he would almost have himself calmed down. After nearly an hour, I could stand it no more—and we were both so bleary eyed. Clearly this was not a wise decision (but I did try it at 9PM last week the night Dennis was coming home and that had even worse results, Eddie was up for 3 hours, he was so hysterical—and after nearly an hour of crying, wasn’t able to fall asleep--even with driving all the way to Dulles and back). I recognize I’m not “doing it right”, and that whatever we decide, we need to be consistent, but as someone with so little sleep at the moment (and I got 3+ more than Eddie’s dad)…I have the following musings.
I am so torn on the CIO theory, which while it has several variations, the basic idea is to let your child cry him/herself to sleep with the idea that they learn to fall asleep by themselves and can then get themselves back to sleep when they wake by themselves without having to call out for you. It can take as little as 3 nights or as many as a week. Crying can last upwards of 2 hours. Oh, and going on vacation or getting sick can really screw up any progress you’ve made.
The screwy thing is that we went through a period of about 6 weeks of heaven where Eddie would sleep from 7:30 till 3 or so, get fed and then go back to sleep until 6:30 or so. Then he started waking. We thought because of teething, but are afraid it has now become a pattern.
I’ve read a couple books and countless affirmations of the merits of letting your child CIO. I’ve now recently read some not so glowing reviews. Newsweek had an article in its Aug. 11, 2005 edition on baby’s brains, saying there are emerging studies that show babies are capable of so much more than initially thought at a younger age than thought. Not related to CIO necessarily, but interesting read. I’m sure he won’t remember a thing, but I’ll be permanently scared.
Anyway, I’ve always held I wouldn’t be able to CIO with Eddie. However, he is increasingly waking at night. He goes to sleep at 7:30 with no problem. But wakes somewhere in the 8, 9, and sometimes 10PM hour (the other night, he got up 4 times in one hour—that was my night). He then wakes around midnight and again around 2 or 3. If we are lucky, he sleeps through til 7ish at that point, or wakes at 5AM before sleeping more. Some of this depends on whether one of us has taken him to bed with us. I am not able to get a restful nights sleep with all 3 of us in the bed. We set Eddie parallel to us, but he very quickly turns himself perpendicular and kicks at each end. Maybe we should start him out perpendicular and see if he turns parallel?
The thing is, many of the books on the subject say that part of what you had to do is ensure a regular sleep pattern during the day, which we have. Wakes around 7/7:30, naps around 9/9:30 for 1-2 hours, then naps around 1 or 2 pm for an hour or 2. He has about as much routine as I can muster, yet can’t seem to stay asleep at night. This is one of those issues where those in support of CIO believe there isn’t another way and those who don’t feel there must be another way. At 5AM, I support CIO, at 9PM, I don’t. Ugh. Obviously I want to do what is best for my child, and his parents, but the problem is, that is not even clear.
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